Networking Rule #1: Don’t be a Bullwinkle!

Recent events reminded me of a networking group I attended ONE meeting of last year; a meeting that strongly enforced what I believe is Rule #1 of Networking.

I was called by someone I’ve done business with and asked to join a local group that would be like a BNI but without the price tag. Since I respected the person that asked I attended the meeting.

About 10 of us gathered around the conference room table and each chatted about their business and handed out their cards. Most of them were new faces to me. I had never met “Bullwinkle” but I had just stopped using his company’s services (which, of course, I didn’t mention) .

Bullwinkle, not really knowing any of us, hands us all his card and a brochure for his products (all of which are a few hundred to a few thousand dollars) without asking if we had the slightest interest in them (obviously the company he works for is paying for the brochure so he doesn’t care how many go into a landfill).

I handed out a copy of the MVBWN (Mohawk Valley Business Women’s Network) Directory. I did this for two reasons: 1) I want people to know there are women entrepreneurs out there and utilize their services and 2) at that time I designed the piece so was marketing for my skills too.

Well, within three days I had Network members emailing me asking if I was getting emails from some guy named Bullwinkle – sure enough, he had taken the directory and spammed every member!

Obviously he didn’t understand that:

  1. We’re women entrepreneurs and if he had passed that on to a woman to spam us he may have gotten a better response
  2. He should have considered establishing a relationship by using the services of a member
  3. Several of these women clearly had no need for his product
  4. That kind of spamming makes you seem desperate
  5. We’re businesswomen – we’re not going to buy a big ticket item from a stranger through an email

I felt violated (for lack of a better word). I never implied anyone should spam these women – I assumed business people would know better. As I said at the beginning, I only went to ONE meeting – I have a lot of connections and if someone abuses them there is no second chance; I take the privilege of relationship very seriously. I’m sure Bullwinkle didn’t get a single bite from his spam – and he lost any chance of ever doing so.

Remember: It’s about relationship, and “bullying” your way into an inbox does not build a relationship, it builds a wall. Protect your contacts and respect the contacts of others – that’s the #1 rule of networking!

Jack Canfield inspires me…but who inspires Jack? Sean Stephenson does!

I just received this email from Jack Canfield… since he’s done so much for me I’d like to return the favor – and perhaps you’ll be inspired by this great story too!

Would you trade places with a 3 foot man in a wheelchair?

Before you say “NO WAY!” I’m inviting you to watch this video from my colleague, Sean Stephenson – a man whose life story is pure “Chicken Soup”.

Google
him, and you’ll find that he’s professionally speaking and traveling
the world as a person on a mission – a mission to rid the world of
insecurity and help people live the quality of life they deserve, no
matter what their challenges are.

If you’re inspired by Sean’s video,
please help me help Sean!

You see, Sean got a pilot deal for a show about his daily life, struggles and achievements, on the Biography Channel.

He
needs a 300,000 people to tune in (this Sunday night) to push his show
to the next level and get picked up as a series. I want to help Sean
take his inspirational story to millions of people, helping them
overcome their own adversity and limiting beliefs.

The show premiers Sunday, November 15th at 7PM and 11pm PT, 10pm ET on the Biography Channel.

Watch Sean’s video and PLEASE tune in and find out why Jimmy Kimmel calls Sean “the Yoda of personal development’.

Wishing you much love and happiness,

Jack Canfield Signature

JACK CANFIELD
America’s #1 Success Coach
CEO, The Canfield Training Group

What defines a Hero? Captain Chesley Sullenberger says he was just doing his job…

Wikipedia defines a hero as:

… hero (male) and heroine (female) came to refer to characters (fictional or historical) that, in the face of danger and adversity or from a position of weakness, display courage and the will for self sacrafice – that is, heroism – for some greater good, originally of martial courage or excellence but extended to more general moral excellence.

Captain Sullenberger, according to many, falls under that definition. His hometown - actually most of the world – calls him a hero… and his modest response is:

“Circumstance determined that it was this experienced crew that was scheduled to fly that particular flight on that particular day,” he said.

“And I know I can speak for the entire crew when I tell you we were simply doing the jobs we were trained to do.”

I hope that I get the chance to do something that amazing someday and think of it as “simply doing my job”.

Did you know that he is also a certified glider pilot?

I started thinking about what part that played in the safety of the landing… then I read this article, which confirms what I thought: that he not only used his knowledge of flying a glider, but that he also was brave – brave enough to make the decision that the Hudson was a better landing choice for him and his crew. Not eveyone could so quick-thinking.

I was a bit disheartened to read some of the negative comments on that page; so many people so eager to deny him the status of hero that he did not seek – and frankly seems unwilling to accept.

Perhaps the definition of a hero should include “being able to instinctively and instantaneously use all the knowledge you have in your various fields of expertise to make a split-second decision that can save hundreds of lives”.

Maybe we all won’t have the opportunity to be a hero at work… but we can choose to call into play ALL our skills/knowledge/faculities the next time a client needs us. We can choose to help them the best we can by engaging in a conversation that fully utilizes our strengths to their advantage… I’ve “saved” clients before from bad hosting companies (no links here – not sharing bad karma!) and the stresses they create. Just today the AAA guy that jump started my car said the battery and alternator were great and he put my washer fluid in (kindly took it from my hands and did it himself); AND was surprised and gratious when I tipped him – he was my hero!!!

Gratutious David Bowie mention “we can be heroes, just for one day” (video for Monday inspiration)

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Give the Gift that Keeps on Giving… what does that mean for you?

Today I spent an hour or so creating a gift that may last a lifetime… or maybe will only last until we buy a house… or maybe only until I tire of a sage green and chocolate brown bedroom! But this gift will be a gift to my husband every night we go to sleep and every morning we awaken in our bed…

I tell him I love him a lot – and he enjoys hearing it; but, I want to remind him, with silent words, just how much he means to me every day.

So, did you get your love a gift that “keeps on giving”? Or - perhaps more importantly to the purpose of this blog – did you get YOURSELF a gift like that? If not, I’d like to offer some suggestions…things to do for yourself this year to develop / strengthen your personal and professional goals.

  1. If you have not joined a networking group yet… first, ask yourself what’s holding you back and OVERCOME IT!  You know I use “The Success Principles” to get me past supposed “stop signs”. You may just need to do some soul searching…or you may need a book or a mentor to help you – but networking will help you develop in so many ways – AND you’ll be a benefit to others! Someone is looking for an answer to a question… someone is looking for an expert like you!
    This can also lead to helping community-wide, and being known community-wide… you never know who knows who you know! A former employer of mine told me once to not be afraid to tell people what I’m good at – because “someone needs what you have and you wouldn’t want them to miss out because you can’t  “toot your own horn”!
    I’m a member of a small mastermind group, a local woman’s organization and a regional group of women entrepreneurs, as well as participating in the Mohawk Valley Chamber of Commerce Membership/Ambassador committee – pick a couple groups: one with very common interests (entrepreneurs) and one with a broad range of members (Chamber of Commerce) – I have helped facilitate interactions between the two groups that hadn’t happened previously – and you can too!
  2. Make a plan to be healthier!  Yeh – this is tough… putting this in writing as a way to motivate myself too! It’s only as easy as we think it is (if we say it’s hard – it will be!) so let’s make a pact to say, “I can do this!” and then DO IT! I’m going to join the local YWCA – I believe that’s where I want to put my money and time – I need a variety and inspiration, so hoping that’s the spot.
    Go on a tour of a few fitness centers – most will give you a guided tour and a day or a week free! Wow – my local Y is on Twitter!
  3. Make a plan to be wealthier!  Many women have issues with making money – GET OVER IT!
    Do you spend hours and hours planning the family vacation or researching where to save money on a high ticket item? We spend loads of time on how to spend money…. but have you ever spent that much time actually laying out a plan on how to make more money? I just thought of that… and it has created several emotions… fear (can I do that?) anger (that’s stupid, why haven’t I been doing that?), frustration (how long is that gonna take? I’m already busy enough!) [see this link for free planning tools from Jack] 

Wow – you know I’m on this journey with you when the self-discovery mode kicks in! I believe I have great success in #1, but it appears I have two other areas that I’m lacking in… but I’m not supposed to focus on lack (or I’ll get more of it). I suggest that both of us celebrate the areas we’re successful in and make positive plans/goals for the other areas!

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah (Chanukah), and a Peaceful, Prosperous New Year to you all! I’m grateful to you for joining me on this journey and looking forward to another year of sharing in your entrepreneurial journey!

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What’s stopping me? Finding the one thing that will start the ball rolling…

I didn’t look back this morning at when the last time was that I posted… I didn’t want to stare that date in the face and get caught up in how I wasn’t as dedicated to this blog timewise as I had envisioned. Don’t get me wrong – my heart is here… so why isn’t my time?

Well, I have a based of paying clients, a husband, friends, and a home, as well as (apparently) an additional career as a speaker! I still hold hope of get colloborators for this site – I’d love it to be a resource for  entrepreneurial women that has many points of view and authors from different fields of expertise.

I’ve had women say their interested but not follow through for a variety of reasons… and I believe when the time is right they will appear. So for the moment it’s just me passing along insights and info from the hundreds of women entrepreneurs I interact with; and that is as it is meant to be…

That being said, I do feel the need to set some goals for this site and my career(s). I need a mantra… or at least a couple words to keep me on track, something that will bring me back to the present and help me focus. I think we all need that so perhaps this process will be of benefit to you as well.

Teresa keeps telling me I need to be clear, that the clearer I am the more successful I will be (she says it nicer than that - it’s said in the context of when I’m being clearer she notices and comments on how it is working for me and reminds me to see and appreciate what clarity brings); intellectually I know what that word means but unfortunately I can’t just say, “Veronika, get clearer!” and have it magically happen (or can I?). I’m thinking I need to have a few steps in place to get me there…

So… what is stopping me – or you?

I could/would be clearer if:

  • I “trusted” instead of “knew” – I know I have a strong and varied skillset, I take pride in my work, and I feel invested in my clients’ success. So, why do I struggle with fee structure? Why don’t I ”trust” that people who really want a well-designed, search engine friendly, professional website that will bring them business will be willing to pay for that website and become clients? I have seen it happen… there are people who do and have become great clients for my business; so what will it take for me to trust that there are more just like them out there? Trusting would mean that I will always:
    • accept clients that feel they can afford a website.
    • set my fee structure in writing because everyone deserves to be paid what they’re worth and each client deserves to know what their financial obligation is to the project from the start.
    • kindly remind clients of my business policies, thereby creating a consistent course of action.
  • I was more consistent… I would be clearer if I was more consistent! I would be clearer with me and clearer with my clients. Consistency in Communication is what first comes to mind. About a week ago I decided to lay out a very specific plan for a client so we could get their project done (I felt they needed more structure than either of us had originally anticipated), so, I formulated a plan and sent it with trust. I said ”abc”, and they said “abcd”; I reviewed my business policies and “abcd” did fit into those parameters so we moved forward. All I had needed to to was be consistent with the client by informing them of what had been done, what needed to be done, and how it could be done efficiently – from a time and budget standpoint.

Constancy in communication and trusting in the outcome will create clarity in my business and personal life.

This makes sense as that will also lead to a stronger sense of serenity and organization…and who can’t use more of that too! I think I’ll pullout my “Success Principles” book tonight and find some principles that support those goals.

If you have any suggestions or tips – or words of encouragement! – feel free to comment here!

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It’s not all about the money… but you can’t work for free!

If you’re in business ONLY to make money you’re in the wrong business – you need to be passionate about what you do and then the money will come because you are honest and dedicated passionately to your work.

That said, I love the song I’ve included as a podcast in this post, (Peter sent it to me a couple years ago) as it is something that many entrepreneurs can identify with – especially if you are in a service or “idea” industry “where what you know” is a valuable commodity but people want to pay you only for what you “do” – they want the thinking about / brainstorming / idea-generation to be free as they can’t touch or quantify it.

I read a good post about problem-solving recently, and one of the commenters asked the question:

Paul, this issue has been bothering me for a long time. Any good designer would argue that defining the problem is just as important, if not more important, than generating a solution.

Bill Buxton talks about the difference between getting the design right and getting the right design. The former is when a designer is forced to use intuition and experience to iterate on a single solution so that it is well-received. It will look pretty and it will work, but it won’t be useful to the intended audience. The latter happens when designers are given the opportunity to analyze the situation and identify pain points instead of simply being told what to do. Research, synthesis and prototyping together ensure that the solution is the right one.

But how do we characterize these skill sets that often go unused? How do we name the activity so that we can better sell it to our clients? Is it Strategy? Discovery? Plain old Research, which sounds dry and redundant to many companies? There’s thinking and then there’s doing. What can we call Thinking so that it doesn’t sound like a waste of time to the people paying the bills?

Let me know your thoughts; do you have a story you’d like to share? How do you handle people trying to get info from you that should be charged for? How do you let clients know that “thinking” is what some people need to get paid for? People sit and think in an 9 to 5 office job and get a paycheck; how do you help them understand that even though you think on the beach, or in bed, or driving to a meeting, that your time is worthy of monitary reimbursement as well?

Here’s to using your brain - and paying the bills!

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  Click to play, lyrics below

I’M BILLING TIME
(sung to the tune of “Time After Time” by Cyndi Lauper)
by The Bar & Grill Singers

Sometimes you call me up,
and beg me for free advice.

You’re stealing from me,
and wondering why I’m not nice.

My mind and my time
are my merchandise;
Don’t make me say this twice.

(chorus)
If you come to my office or call my phone,
I’m billing time.

If you stop me at parties to whine and moan,
I’m billing time.

You say you want the best,
but then you don’t pay the fee.

Notions cost money,
but you think they should be free.

You cry, “Oh why
is my bill so high?”
Well, let me clarify:

(chorus)
If you come to my office or call my phone,
I’m billing time.

If you stop me at parties to whine and moan,
I’m billing time.

If I think of you when I am all alone,
I’m billing time.

If you’re late for appointments,
I will be waiting.

…and billing time.

Still billing time.

I’m billing time.

Do you care more about your clients’ businesses than they do?

I found this fascinating quote today:

So the question I would like to explore is this – at what point are there consequences if customers don’t live up to their part of the bargain? At what point do you stop inspiring, cajoling and yelling and just start backing off or disengaging all together? What about building monetary penalties into service agreements that kick in when a customer does not complete assignments they agreed to?Small Business Marketing Blog from Duct Tape Marketing, Sep 2008

It is difficult to hold ourselves back sometimes; as service providers and women eager to see others succeed it is hard to watch them not do the things you feel/know will help grown their business. Sometimes they say they’re invested in their business but it seems you are spending a lot more time and energy on it than they are… which means you’re spending less time and energy on your other clients and YOUR business! 

Read about what John Jantsch and his followers have to say – it’s an interesting conversation…

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Giving someone their dream may be more important than fulfilling yours sometimes…

Softball Miracle

This moving six-minute clip goes way beyond softball to touch the heart.


Softball Miracle (6 min)

I was forwarded this by a member of Triiibes and felt like I wanted to share it here. It is a story of surrenduring to what is “right” and “honorable”; of letting go of the need to win; and doing whatever it takes to give someone else their moment of glory. I think I heard about this briefly, but until I saw it – the people and emotions involved – I had no idea how powerful and beautiful it was.

Be inspired…

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Embracing change is the key to success… even if it’s just superficial.

  They say that change is the only constant… and if you can embrace change you are on the right path! Fighting change just wastes energy and distracts you from seeing what opportunities have been created right in front of you. So stop looking around for a way to circumvent change and move forward, holding your vision as a guide but without fear… don’t cling to how you think it will come about; trust that it will develop in it’s own way and it’s own time.

  It’s a good thing throughout my entire life I’ve been very open to change… especially when it comes my hair! I was born a redheaded, asian Rod Stewart… Yes really! That is MY baby picture – that is auburn hair, and it’s all mine!

 
   This is my dirty blonde phase; I was blonde in between – I don’t remember if I had more fun then…!
  This dress (sans apron) was sent from Germany for me – my mom loves this picture but always complains about the apron!
  I love the pose though!

Perhaps I’ll share more later… I was inspired by many people’s pictures from their childhood…
thought perhaps it was time to share in return. 

So embrace change and celebrate how far you’ve come!

But that doesn’t mean you can’t you can’t cover the grey!
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Pausing long enough to notice, to hear, to heal

There is a surge of breakthroughs that have happened over the past couple months…

Luckily I have my friends/life coaches Claire, from Inspired Focus, and Teresa to help me pause and reflect on the successes, releases the things that didn’t serve me, and decide upon the next course of action. I recommend that everyone find at least one person that can help them slow down and regroup.

Teresa’s book about “Pausing…Long Enough to Notice”, is due to be released next month; and she’s obviously the inspiration for this post. 

Recently I have had a number of entrepreneurial friends and business associates lose family members, deal with a personal health scare, or suffer a loss of business due to a natural disaster. I have been moved by their stories, amazed by their resiliency, and inspired by the love that continues to flow from them despite it all…

I want to encourage you today to reach out to someone you know who’s been dealing with a loss and let them know what you admire something about them. By you making time to notice and speak it, you can open a space for them to pause to receive it – and in that pause they may find joy, or peace, or stillness… they may find what they need to move forward to the next minute, the next hour, the next day…

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